I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
