is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
