Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
