Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
