so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
