Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This house was built for laser tag.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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