Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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