my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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