she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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