Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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