After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
