Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
