First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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