he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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