Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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