is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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