Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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