Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
