summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize