I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
