Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
