Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
