So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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