i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Less talking, more tequila
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
