This is not my ceiling
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
