if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
