Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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