marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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