i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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