I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
