Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
