I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
