Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
