Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
