well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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