My hair reeks of homosexuality.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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