there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
