definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
