i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
