I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
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