pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dicks are not precious.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize