It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
