Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
