The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
