she looked like the bat from fern gully.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Randomize