Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
