I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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