he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
