she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I need to calm my uterus...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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