THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
