This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
