just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize