I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize