Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
