I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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