That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
