Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
