New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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