He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
